1 00:00:01,565 --> 00:00:02,514 Good morning. 2 00:00:02,590 --> 00:00:04,346 Oh, here. You're going to need this after last night. 3 00:00:04,414 --> 00:00:06,715 I can't believe I can get out of bed after what we did. 4 00:00:06,813 --> 00:00:08,024 Ew! Nice! 5 00:00:08,094 --> 00:00:10,265 Easy. Get your mind out of the gutter. 6 00:00:10,334 --> 00:00:11,741 We had a whole pie in bed. 7 00:00:11,805 --> 00:00:12,852 Ew. Nice. 8 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:16,221 I'm going to Joey's. His dad's gonna teach us how to ride bikes. 9 00:00:16,286 --> 00:00:17,977 Whoa, whoa. Who does this guy think he is? 10 00:00:18,046 --> 00:00:20,217 He owns a bike store. I think he rode in the Tour de France. 11 00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:21,693 Yeah, but what are his qualifications? 12 00:00:21,757 --> 00:00:23,383 I can't have some gearhead clown 13 00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:24,631 teaching my kid how to ride a bike. 14 00:00:24,701 --> 00:00:25,912 They'll revoke my dad license. 15 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:28,349 Yeah, then you have to go down to the dad DMV, 16 00:00:28,414 --> 00:00:30,301 reapply for your dad learner's permit, 17 00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:32,024 practice your parallel dadding. 18 00:00:32,094 --> 00:00:34,166 Hey, do I mock your bonding moments with the kids? 19 00:00:34,237 --> 00:00:35,699 When you took them all to go buy coats, 20 00:00:35,773 --> 00:00:37,334 did I say anything? No, I let you go. 21 00:00:37,406 --> 00:00:38,486 Okay, fine. Go ahead. 22 00:00:38,558 --> 00:00:40,183 Great. Get your unisex coat. 23 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,394 Yeah, that's it. The magenta one. 24 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,186 It's very slimming. 25 00:00:50,813 --> 00:00:52,242 I know you heard it. Okay, what? 26 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:53,747 I was supposed to go to a dance class today with Carol, 27 00:00:53,822 --> 00:00:55,447 and she just canceled on me. So go by yourself. 28 00:00:55,517 --> 00:00:58,332 I can't go alone to a singles ballroom dance class. 29 00:00:58,397 --> 00:01:00,153 I'd look desperate. 30 00:01:00,221 --> 00:01:01,748 Eve of destruction. 31 00:01:01,822 --> 00:01:03,677 Would you like to go to a dance class with me today? 32 00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:06,109 Sorry, but I have my audition for the school musical. 33 00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,210 You helped me pick out a song? 34 00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:10,772 I never would've done that if I knew that one day, 35 00:01:10,846 --> 00:01:12,220 you would use it against me. 36 00:01:12,285 --> 00:01:13,529 Annie! No. 37 00:01:13,597 --> 00:01:16,085 Please? How am I gonna find somebody that has nothing else to do? 38 00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:19,354 Hey, guys. Forty eight tiles on the bathroom ceiling. 39 00:01:19,837 --> 00:01:21,244 You're welcome. 40 00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:26,003 What? 41 00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:40,728 Ripped By mstoll 42 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,071 All right, buddy. 43 00:01:42,142 --> 00:01:43,865 Get ready for some memories. We're good to go. 44 00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:45,362 But those are my training wheels. 45 00:01:45,437 --> 00:01:48,023 Training wheels? Where we're going, we don't need training wheels. 46 00:01:49,981 --> 00:01:51,923 Did you just throw training wheels in the bushes? 47 00:01:51,997 --> 00:01:53,207 Yeah, it was for dramatic effect. 48 00:01:53,277 --> 00:01:54,422 I'll get 'em later. 49 00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:55,991 Carry on. 50 00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:58,171 He's just jealous because all he can do is jog. 51 00:01:58,237 --> 00:02:00,343 Now forget everything you know about biking. 52 00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:01,526 But I don't know anything. 53 00:02:01,597 --> 00:02:03,288 Perfect. You're golden. 54 00:02:03,358 --> 00:02:06,041 Okay, uh, hop on. Now, I'm gonna be real hands-off. 55 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,836 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. 56 00:02:07,902 --> 00:02:09,811 You gotta, you gotta do the kickstand. 57 00:02:10,078 --> 00:02:11,060 No, you don't actually kick it. 58 00:02:11,134 --> 00:02:12,694 It's a misnomer. You just nudge it. 59 00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:14,169 It's a nudgestand. 60 00:02:14,237 --> 00:02:16,026 First, let's do the basics. 61 00:02:16,509 --> 00:02:18,265 See how natural this feels? 62 00:02:19,549 --> 00:02:20,924 Are you watching my form? 63 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:23,357 Get it around, around. Big circles. 64 00:02:25,757 --> 00:02:27,480 Pedal, buddy, pedal. 65 00:02:27,550 --> 00:02:29,372 There you go. Okay, now you're ready. 66 00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:33,558 Okay, forget everything you know about riding a bike. 67 00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:38,492 Limber up, boys. It's important for dance. 68 00:02:39,037 --> 00:02:41,077 And for what I have planned for them after we dance. 69 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,230 Gross! 70 00:02:42,301 --> 00:02:44,690 Sorry, I'll watch my saucy asides. 71 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,326 Ooh, I'd like to take him out for a saucy aside. 72 00:02:46,398 --> 00:02:49,016 Ahhh! Gross. Sorry, I'm just excited. 73 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,673 I'm about to meet the man of my... Gross. 74 00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:54,040 That hallway was full of grade A beef. 75 00:02:54,109 --> 00:02:56,564 This is just the stuff they make hot dogs out of. 76 00:02:56,637 --> 00:02:58,361 You guys talking hotties? 77 00:02:58,430 --> 00:03:00,252 That's my intermediate class. 78 00:03:00,317 --> 00:03:02,968 And many of them are actually straight. 79 00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:06,077 Oh, but not all of them. 80 00:03:06,141 --> 00:03:08,029 Oh, no. I'm not gay. 81 00:03:08,093 --> 00:03:09,555 I'm just here because my mom 82 00:03:09,629 --> 00:03:11,517 made me go ballroom dancing with my... 83 00:03:12,222 --> 00:03:13,465 You know what? I'm gay. 84 00:03:15,581 --> 00:03:16,890 I waited too long. 85 00:03:16,957 --> 00:03:18,201 By the time Ian and Eve were Graham's age, 86 00:03:18,269 --> 00:03:19,611 I'd already taught 'em how to ride bikes. 87 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,204 Oh, you're being too hard on yourself. 88 00:03:21,277 --> 00:03:23,252 No, I blew it a seven year old is like a sponge 89 00:03:23,325 --> 00:03:24,470 who's ready to absorb the world. 90 00:03:24,541 --> 00:03:26,297 An eight year old is dead inside. 91 00:03:26,366 --> 00:03:28,886 Oh... Oh! 92 00:03:28,957 --> 00:03:30,582 Oh! 93 00:03:30,653 --> 00:03:32,115 Oh, yeah. He's a lost cause. 94 00:03:32,669 --> 00:03:34,579 He's just not getting it. 95 00:03:34,749 --> 00:03:36,124 I don't know, maybe it was the two weeks Annie 96 00:03:36,189 --> 00:03:38,044 didn't know she was pregnant and took kickboxing. 97 00:03:38,109 --> 00:03:39,287 I don't know what the big deal is 98 00:03:39,358 --> 00:03:41,976 about learning how to ride a bike anyway. 99 00:03:42,045 --> 00:03:43,474 Seems to me a boy should be able to grow up 100 00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:44,924 and become a highly accomplished adult male 101 00:03:44,989 --> 00:03:46,396 without ever sitting on that tiny seat. 102 00:03:46,461 --> 00:03:47,639 Do you not know how to ride a bike, Harris? 103 00:03:47,709 --> 00:03:49,814 What? Can I ride a bi... Pshh. 104 00:03:50,045 --> 00:03:52,282 I should ride circles around you just for asking me. 105 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,195 I just can't right now because my bike 106 00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:55,546 is in the shop and my foot hurts. 107 00:03:55,613 --> 00:03:58,166 I don't care. Oh, so you don't believe me? 108 00:03:58,237 --> 00:03:59,895 Huh? All right. 109 00:03:59,966 --> 00:04:02,137 You can call my brother and ask him. 110 00:04:02,205 --> 00:04:04,212 I mean, you can't call him right now because he's not home. 111 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,773 Right? But tomorrow, I'll give you the number, and he'll tell you. 112 00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:08,406 Okay, now I'm convinced. 113 00:04:08,510 --> 00:04:10,484 I totally froze in my audition. 114 00:04:10,557 --> 00:04:12,924 I couldn't remember the words, so I just started scatting. 115 00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:14,613 Scatting, Mom. 116 00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:17,270 Well, it didn't seem so bad when we watched the video in the teachers' lounge. 117 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,748 Oh, my God! I'm dropping out. 118 00:04:18,814 --> 00:04:20,024 No, I will 119 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,435 I will do henna tattoos down at the seaport. 120 00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:23,028 No, honey, come on. It was cute. 121 00:04:23,101 --> 00:04:25,523 I especially liked the part where you just started yelling out city names, 122 00:04:25,597 --> 00:04:26,939 because Oakland really does get it started. 123 00:04:27,006 --> 00:04:29,177 Well, now I'm stuck on tech crew, 124 00:04:29,245 --> 00:04:31,928 so I have to go across town to pick up body mics with Warren. 125 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,556 He's got a back brace and a fanny pack, 126 00:04:34,621 --> 00:04:36,050 so yeah, he's pretty hot. 127 00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:37,172 Well, you know, we have a bunch 128 00:04:37,245 --> 00:04:39,133 of spare mics at the station. Drop by, I'll hook you up. 129 00:04:39,805 --> 00:04:41,692 Us backstage people gotta stick together. 130 00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:44,059 See, Eve? You'll get through this. 131 00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:46,100 And you know what? We are gonna cheer so hard for you 132 00:04:46,173 --> 00:04:47,766 at the end, when the cast goes... 133 00:04:47,837 --> 00:04:50,171 Oh, yeah. Tech crew. 134 00:04:51,389 --> 00:04:53,593 Where's my spotlight? Thank you, God, thank you. 135 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,214 Is there any way we could get into the other class? 136 00:04:56,957 --> 00:04:58,070 The hottie class? 137 00:04:58,141 --> 00:05:00,792 Sorry, dear, but you have to graduate this one first. 138 00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,903 All right! 139 00:05:02,973 --> 00:05:04,435 Let's partner up. 140 00:05:05,021 --> 00:05:06,428 Let's just go. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 141 00:05:07,613 --> 00:05:09,752 Henrys don't give up just because things get tough. 142 00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:11,031 Didn't you drop out of college? 143 00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:12,857 No I dropped into life. 144 00:05:12,925 --> 00:05:14,900 I am gonna get you into that dance class. How? 145 00:05:14,973 --> 00:05:17,526 Seems like someone wasn't paying attention at cousin Danny's wedding. 146 00:05:17,597 --> 00:05:20,346 I am a beast on the dance floor. 147 00:05:22,653 --> 00:05:24,376 You are not bad! 148 00:05:24,445 --> 00:05:25,623 Not bad? 149 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,344 After I pulled that move on Jackie, we made out a little bit. 150 00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:29,907 Jackie, your cousin? 151 00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:31,926 I thought she was a family friend! 152 00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:33,819 Ew! She went up my shirt! 153 00:05:34,013 --> 00:05:35,322 Oh! 154 00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:40,627 Oh! You're not toilet paper. 155 00:05:40,701 --> 00:05:42,228 Don't tell him I'm here. Tell who? 156 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:43,926 Graham, time to go bike riding. 157 00:05:43,997 --> 00:05:45,524 No! 158 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,444 Hey, have you seen Graham? 159 00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:50,037 Uh, he's at his friend, Graham's house. 160 00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,376 Different Graham. 161 00:05:52,446 --> 00:05:54,388 They call him, "Graham number one," 162 00:05:54,461 --> 00:05:56,949 but that's just, you know, Graham being Graham. 163 00:05:57,021 --> 00:05:58,548 The other Graham that I'm talking about. 164 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,914 I, uh, gotta get this bike thing figured out. 165 00:06:01,981 --> 00:06:03,672 I mean, I feel like I'm letting him down. 166 00:06:03,741 --> 00:06:05,115 He gets short shrift in everything. 167 00:06:05,182 --> 00:06:06,294 I mean, half his clothes come from Eve. 168 00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,187 No, Mike, no. 169 00:06:08,253 --> 00:06:10,522 Those are definitely boy clothes. 170 00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:11,931 What are you talking about? 171 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,110 His favorite outfit's a skort. 172 00:06:13,181 --> 00:06:14,610 Yeah. He looks great in it. 173 00:06:15,197 --> 00:06:16,375 Well, it's why I got a new plan. 174 00:06:16,446 --> 00:06:17,525 I'm gonna do what my dad did with me. 175 00:06:17,597 --> 00:06:19,190 Just laugh at him till he learns. 176 00:06:21,565 --> 00:06:22,580 See what I'm dealing with? 177 00:06:22,653 --> 00:06:25,817 How about you and I give this biking thing a try alone? 178 00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:28,219 Our secret. Okay. 179 00:06:28,381 --> 00:06:29,558 It's Eve's old bike, isn't it? 180 00:06:29,629 --> 00:06:30,873 Yeah. Come on. 181 00:06:31,255 --> 00:06:32,782 Okay, honey, I'm gonna teach you to ride, 182 00:06:32,855 --> 00:06:35,572 but later, you have to pretend to let your dad teach you, okay? 183 00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:37,199 Let's do it! 184 00:06:37,911 --> 00:06:40,213 What are you doing? I don't know. 185 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,002 Okay. Come on. 186 00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:43,538 Oh, God, there's your dad. 187 00:06:43,607 --> 00:06:44,817 Shoot. 188 00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:46,229 Just... 189 00:06:50,103 --> 00:06:52,242 Seriously, this is not a junkyard. 190 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:54,133 Keep running. Go! 191 00:06:54,199 --> 00:06:55,508 Go! 192 00:06:56,663 --> 00:06:58,419 Hey. Mike! 193 00:06:58,487 --> 00:07:00,975 Hey, what are you doing? I thought you had to work late. 194 00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:02,225 Yeah, it turns out the kid crawled out 195 00:07:02,295 --> 00:07:04,335 of the well on his own, so... 196 00:07:04,407 --> 00:07:05,684 Bummer. 197 00:07:05,751 --> 00:07:06,961 What are you guys doing? 198 00:07:07,031 --> 00:07:10,260 Uh, we are, um, bird watching. 199 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:12,078 Yeah, I know it doesn't make any sense, 200 00:07:12,152 --> 00:07:14,639 but Graham is really into it. 201 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:16,276 I like bird watching. 202 00:07:16,343 --> 00:07:17,653 Hey, you know what? 203 00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:19,410 Why don't I go home and get the bike and we'll have a lesson? 204 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,651 Uh... You know... 205 00:07:21,847 --> 00:07:24,630 This is actually prime bird watching time. 206 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:25,939 All the best birds are out right now. 207 00:07:26,007 --> 00:07:28,014 The blue jays, orioles, cardinals, 208 00:07:28,087 --> 00:07:29,942 and the other birds that are not baseball teams. 209 00:07:30,135 --> 00:07:31,564 The Blue Jays are barely a baseball team. 210 00:07:32,471 --> 00:07:35,318 So why don't I hang out with you guys and watch birds? 211 00:07:35,863 --> 00:07:37,107 Oh, good! 212 00:07:37,175 --> 00:07:38,735 Cool. So how does this work? 213 00:07:38,807 --> 00:07:41,174 Uh, pretty much you just look up. 214 00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:43,153 Fun. 215 00:07:43,832 --> 00:07:44,944 That's a bird. 216 00:07:46,071 --> 00:07:47,827 It's actually killing another one right now. 217 00:07:47,895 --> 00:07:49,488 Oh. Oh! 218 00:07:49,559 --> 00:07:51,282 Whoa! That is brutal! 219 00:08:05,463 --> 00:08:06,575 Told you we'd kill this. 220 00:08:06,647 --> 00:08:07,792 I just can't wait to drop you 221 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,140 after I get into that hottie class. 222 00:08:12,631 --> 00:08:14,257 Oh, God! I am so sorry. 223 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,847 No, totally my fault. 224 00:08:17,495 --> 00:08:18,640 Oh, you you have something on... 225 00:08:18,711 --> 00:08:20,882 Yeah, sweat. Yeah, that is sweat. 226 00:08:20,951 --> 00:08:23,504 I think my dance partner has a glandular problem. 227 00:08:23,863 --> 00:08:25,488 His shirt is totally translucent. 228 00:08:25,559 --> 00:08:28,210 He's like a spring roll filled with body hair. 229 00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:30,384 Well, Chinese food is now ruined forever for me. 230 00:08:30,455 --> 00:08:32,397 I am sorry about that. 231 00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:35,408 Hey, um, really nice moves out there. 232 00:08:35,479 --> 00:08:37,104 It's like you're a professional dancer. 233 00:08:37,175 --> 00:08:39,248 I'm actually in the tech/menswear business. 234 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,457 Really? I'm a computer! 235 00:08:42,263 --> 00:08:43,539 Programmer. 236 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,167 I compute programs on computers. 237 00:08:46,071 --> 00:08:47,827 Why would I say it like that? 238 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:51,059 No, sometimes my words take a long time to load too. 239 00:08:52,279 --> 00:08:54,035 I'm Ian. I'm Deborah. 240 00:08:54,295 --> 00:08:56,629 And I am really struggling out there. 241 00:08:57,175 --> 00:08:58,735 Do you think you could show me how the spin goes? 242 00:08:58,807 --> 00:09:00,433 Oh, sure, yeah. It's just like this. 243 00:09:01,431 --> 00:09:02,380 Oh, see? I'm terrible. 244 00:09:02,455 --> 00:09:03,764 No, it's like this. Like this. 245 00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:05,745 Oh. 246 00:09:06,007 --> 00:09:07,119 Oh. 247 00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,790 So that's how that works. 248 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,036 Thanks. You showed me. 249 00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:15,597 Phanks, gov'nah! 250 00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:18,357 I'm sorry. No. 251 00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:20,113 Me phinks that was quite charming. 252 00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:21,361 I'm Jude Law. 253 00:09:21,431 --> 00:09:22,958 'Ello, Jude! 254 00:09:23,223 --> 00:09:24,848 It's like we're in London. 255 00:09:24,919 --> 00:09:26,829 Ian, you can't leave me alone in here! 256 00:09:26,903 --> 00:09:30,286 Lazy eye Steve and lazier eye Fred are both checking me out. 257 00:09:30,839 --> 00:09:33,174 At least I think they are. It's really hard to tell. 258 00:09:35,991 --> 00:09:37,518 Bye. 259 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,111 We need to talk. 260 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,590 I've been out a couple times teaching Graham 261 00:09:45,655 --> 00:09:48,142 behind Mike's back, and I loved it. 262 00:09:48,215 --> 00:09:49,971 But the guilt was starting to take its toll. 263 00:09:50,039 --> 00:09:51,949 We can't keep doing this, sneaking away 264 00:09:52,023 --> 00:09:53,549 in the middle of the afternoon. 265 00:09:53,623 --> 00:09:55,030 We have to stop. 266 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,200 I don't want to stop. Neither do I! 267 00:09:58,039 --> 00:10:00,657 Oh, God, how did this all get so complicated? 268 00:10:02,647 --> 00:10:04,654 Can't we just tell him the truth about us? 269 00:10:04,727 --> 00:10:05,937 The truth would kill him. We just... 270 00:10:06,007 --> 00:10:07,917 We have to be smarter about this. 271 00:10:08,855 --> 00:10:10,032 Mom... 272 00:10:11,479 --> 00:10:13,005 Are we bad? 273 00:10:13,815 --> 00:10:15,244 Maybe. 274 00:10:17,175 --> 00:10:18,997 Maybe we're just human. 275 00:10:20,631 --> 00:10:22,038 Adjusting mics can be tricky, 276 00:10:22,103 --> 00:10:23,564 but once you learn how, you'll never forget. 277 00:10:23,639 --> 00:10:24,948 Got it. Just like riding a bike. 278 00:10:25,014 --> 00:10:26,324 Oh, I wouldn't say that. 279 00:10:26,391 --> 00:10:28,496 This is a skill that you can actually use. 280 00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:31,022 Riding a bike has no functional utility in society. 281 00:10:31,511 --> 00:10:33,202 Okay. Well, thanks. 282 00:10:33,719 --> 00:10:35,507 I've gotta get back to my garbage job. 283 00:10:35,574 --> 00:10:36,949 Hey, I know you want to be in the spotlight, 284 00:10:37,015 --> 00:10:38,837 but behind the scenes is where the real power is. 285 00:10:38,903 --> 00:10:40,397 Watch this. Hey, Troy! 286 00:10:40,471 --> 00:10:43,188 I need a piece on the resurgence of Cotton Candy. 287 00:10:44,695 --> 00:10:45,775 Cotton Candy's making a comeback? 288 00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:47,919 It is now. Ooh, that's power, Eve. 289 00:10:47,991 --> 00:10:49,552 Okay, I guess that's pretty cool. 290 00:10:49,622 --> 00:10:50,833 Plus, between you and me, 291 00:10:50,903 --> 00:10:53,204 I haven't paid for an ink cartridge in, like, 20 years. 292 00:10:53,271 --> 00:10:54,678 Here, take one. Nah, I don't need it. 293 00:10:54,743 --> 00:10:57,198 Take it! Hey, Harris! You got a second? 294 00:10:57,271 --> 00:10:58,318 Of course, Clete. 295 00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,700 Talent always needs me. 296 00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:01,076 What's wrong with this face? 297 00:11:01,142 --> 00:11:02,353 That seems to be a loaded question. 298 00:11:02,423 --> 00:11:05,205 It's this new makeup. I'm orange, Harris. Orange. 299 00:11:05,271 --> 00:11:06,678 No more orange than usual. 300 00:11:06,743 --> 00:11:08,947 You know, they're gonna call me "Cletealoupe." It's right there. 301 00:11:09,015 --> 00:11:11,284 It's not like when you were on the air. The internet is mean. 302 00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:13,041 Hey, just relax! 303 00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:14,900 You know how you get when your blood sugar is low. 304 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:17,072 Here, have a juice. 305 00:11:17,814 --> 00:11:19,276 Ooh, cranapple. 306 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:21,934 Now I see the truth. 307 00:11:22,006 --> 00:11:23,283 I know how to ride a bike! 308 00:11:23,351 --> 00:11:24,561 What? No. 309 00:11:24,631 --> 00:11:25,842 No, you used to be on camera, 310 00:11:25,911 --> 00:11:27,340 but you couldn't cut it, like me, 311 00:11:27,414 --> 00:11:29,651 and so now you're stuck being a glorified babysitter. 312 00:11:29,719 --> 00:11:31,791 - I am not a babysitter. - I spilled my juice! 313 00:11:31,862 --> 00:11:33,423 I'm not always a babysitter. 314 00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,607 Graham? Graham, I got a surprise for you. 315 00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:43,025 Oh, hey, Dad. I was just playing... Cupboard. 316 00:11:43,671 --> 00:11:45,394 Damn kickboxing. 317 00:11:45,463 --> 00:11:47,219 Check this out! Top of the line, six speed, 318 00:11:47,287 --> 00:11:49,196 dual body reversers which now that I say it out loud. 319 00:11:49,271 --> 00:11:50,481 I think the guy just made it up. 320 00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:52,493 You want to take a spin? Not really in the mood. 321 00:11:54,007 --> 00:11:54,955 Too tired. 322 00:11:55,031 --> 00:11:56,853 Since when are you too tired to ride a bike? 323 00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:59,411 When we first started biking, you wanted to bike all the time. 324 00:11:59,479 --> 00:12:01,551 I just don't need this right now! 325 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:02,795 What's that on your pants? 326 00:12:05,335 --> 00:12:06,895 Mud. Gotta go. 327 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,285 It wasn't mud. It was bicycle grease. 328 00:12:10,359 --> 00:12:11,603 Graham was cheating on me 329 00:12:11,671 --> 00:12:14,289 with Joey's dad, that world-class cycling son of a... 330 00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,017 Annie! I gotta talk to you! 331 00:12:16,087 --> 00:12:17,331 You'll never guess who... 332 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:19,469 What's that? 333 00:12:21,111 --> 00:12:23,184 Nothing, nothing. Nothing at all. 334 00:12:23,255 --> 00:12:24,498 It was Annie. 335 00:12:24,566 --> 00:12:27,250 My apologies to that world class cycling son of a... 336 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:32,015 Hey, sweetie. 337 00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,611 How are those hands doing? They come clean? 338 00:12:35,641 --> 00:12:36,753 Yep. 339 00:12:37,305 --> 00:12:38,898 All clean. That's good. 340 00:12:39,289 --> 00:12:41,972 'Cause sometimes, you know, you can scrub and scrub and scrub, 341 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,382 and that spot just won't come out. 342 00:12:43,449 --> 00:12:45,205 Okay, are you doing some sort of weird Macbeth thing? 343 00:12:45,272 --> 00:12:46,767 I don't know. 344 00:12:47,448 --> 00:12:48,528 Are you? 345 00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:51,282 I've interviewed heads of state, titans of industry, 346 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,141 the front half of Snuffleupagus. 347 00:12:53,497 --> 00:12:55,570 I know how to subtly tease the truth out of people. 348 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:57,364 Speaking of coming clean, there's something I never told you. 349 00:12:58,008 --> 00:12:59,896 I saw the second Matrix movie by myself, 350 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,385 and then I sat through it again with you, 351 00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:03,951 the whole time knowing how terrible it was gonna be. 352 00:13:04,185 --> 00:13:06,519 Oh, my God, I did the same thing. 353 00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:08,789 No. Yes! 354 00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:10,646 Why the hell would you make me sit through that? 355 00:13:11,513 --> 00:13:13,301 I... All right, the... 356 00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:14,929 The important thing is that we be honest with each other. 357 00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,619 So is there anything that you want to tell me? 358 00:13:18,649 --> 00:13:20,307 No. Nothing at all? 359 00:13:22,425 --> 00:13:24,247 No. Not that I can think of. 360 00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:26,325 And I thought Snuffy was evasive. 361 00:13:26,393 --> 00:13:28,597 I was gonna have to catch Annie and Graham in the act. 362 00:13:29,497 --> 00:13:31,023 Oh, I gotta go back to work. 363 00:13:31,096 --> 00:13:33,006 That darn kid fell in the well again, 364 00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:35,950 so I'll be hours before I'm home. 365 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,104 Hey, Harris. 366 00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:46,322 Thanks again for the body mics. 367 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,280 But it turns out that the freshman boys 368 00:13:48,345 --> 00:13:49,490 sound better when you can't hear them. 369 00:13:49,561 --> 00:13:50,902 Well, I'm glad you're here. 370 00:13:50,969 --> 00:13:53,074 I want to show you my reel from when I was a correspondent. 371 00:13:53,145 --> 00:13:54,835 You don't have to do this. 372 00:13:55,352 --> 00:13:56,781 Watching you choke isn't going to make me 373 00:13:56,857 --> 00:13:58,679 feel better about the scattastrophe. 374 00:13:58,744 --> 00:13:59,890 Well, just watch. 375 00:14:01,305 --> 00:14:03,160 Once again, I'm Harris Wright, 376 00:14:03,225 --> 00:14:05,843 standing outside an orphanage in downtown Baghdad. 377 00:14:08,057 --> 00:14:11,439 And I know one little guy who didn't seem to mind. 378 00:14:11,513 --> 00:14:14,644 Harris Wright, CNN, Antarctica. 379 00:14:14,712 --> 00:14:16,818 I learned two shocking things that day. 380 00:14:16,888 --> 00:14:19,572 Harris used to be a great correspondent, 381 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:22,292 and CNN used to show news. 382 00:14:22,744 --> 00:14:25,712 I don't get it. You were fantastic. 383 00:14:25,785 --> 00:14:27,126 Damn right I was. 384 00:14:27,192 --> 00:14:29,364 And that flattop was hype. 385 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,288 But I chose to be behind the scenes. 386 00:14:32,569 --> 00:14:34,870 So what? I'm supposed to be grateful for what I have? 387 00:14:34,937 --> 00:14:37,457 No, if you want to be onstage, then keep trying, 388 00:14:37,529 --> 00:14:39,733 but what you're doing right now is someone else's dream, 389 00:14:39,801 --> 00:14:40,979 so show a little respect. 390 00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:42,543 I guess I have been a little petty 391 00:14:42,617 --> 00:14:44,526 ever since I didn't get what I wanted. 392 00:14:44,601 --> 00:14:46,772 I super glued Scott Landsman's headpiece on. 393 00:14:47,385 --> 00:14:49,011 He's going to be the pharaoh for quite some time. 394 00:14:49,081 --> 00:14:50,324 Hmm. 395 00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,534 Now I'm not orange enough! 396 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,488 I hope you're happy. 397 00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:57,683 Again, there's a time and place for everything. 398 00:14:59,033 --> 00:15:00,178 You still have that glue? 399 00:15:09,401 --> 00:15:11,822 Wow, sweaty right out of the gates, huh? 400 00:15:12,377 --> 00:15:14,864 I told you not to walk here. Okay. 401 00:15:14,969 --> 00:15:16,213 Okay. 402 00:15:16,537 --> 00:15:19,853 And step and thrust and wrap the leg. 403 00:15:19,929 --> 00:15:21,620 And shimmy and shimmy. 404 00:15:21,689 --> 00:15:23,249 Ian, where are you today? 405 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,044 Uh, sorry. Uh, you know, I was thinking, 406 00:15:25,113 --> 00:15:27,633 as a goof, last class, might be kind of fun 407 00:15:27,705 --> 00:15:30,160 to dance with other people. Like who? 408 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,806 Um... Beehive lady, overbite Sue, 409 00:15:34,873 --> 00:15:36,117 Asian Katie Couric... 410 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,712 Deborah. 411 00:15:37,784 --> 00:15:40,851 Whoa, you're into her? She's old enough to be your mom, Ian. 412 00:15:40,921 --> 00:15:43,310 Yeah, I know. Dumb idea. 413 00:15:44,121 --> 00:15:45,615 She's practically old enough to be you. 414 00:15:45,689 --> 00:15:46,736 Oh! You're hurting my hand! 415 00:15:46,809 --> 00:15:49,711 Use the pain, Mister. Final evaluation is in 40 minutes. 416 00:15:49,785 --> 00:15:51,411 And five, six, seven, eight. 417 00:15:51,481 --> 00:15:52,855 And one... 418 00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:54,230 Whoa! Oh! Oh, sorry! 419 00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:56,206 Couldn't get a grip! Sorry. Oh. 420 00:15:57,561 --> 00:15:59,284 I returned to stake out the scene of the crime, 421 00:15:59,352 --> 00:16:02,102 and I spotted a mourning dove, a robin, and a northern lapwing. 422 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,371 Bird watching is fun. 423 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,416 Remember, just relax, okay? 424 00:16:08,248 --> 00:16:09,328 A-ha! I knew it! 425 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,462 A-ha! I knew it! Mike! 426 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,813 How long were you planning on keeping this a secret? 427 00:16:13,881 --> 00:16:15,669 I'm sorry, I just wanted to help. 428 00:16:15,737 --> 00:16:17,427 Dad? So you went behind my back? 429 00:16:17,496 --> 00:16:19,635 - What about my dad license? - Mom? 430 00:16:19,704 --> 00:16:21,809 - Okay, that is not a real thing. - Guys? 431 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,506 It was just one... 432 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,496 Okay, it was three times! 433 00:16:25,561 --> 00:16:27,023 I'm riding! 434 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,103 You taught him, Annie! 435 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,585 Oh, yeah. I didn't teach him how to stop. 436 00:16:34,489 --> 00:16:36,311 I landed on wheels. 437 00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:38,383 Oh, God. Oh, I'm a terrible mother. 438 00:16:39,485 --> 00:16:41,394 You all right, pal? I'm okay. 439 00:16:42,013 --> 00:16:44,216 But these bandaids have Hello Kitty on them. 440 00:16:44,445 --> 00:16:46,267 Can't anything be mine? 441 00:16:47,581 --> 00:16:48,825 We'll try again tomorrow. 442 00:16:48,893 --> 00:16:50,616 I think I'm done with biking. 443 00:16:52,252 --> 00:16:53,976 Not one of our finest parenting moments. 444 00:16:54,045 --> 00:16:56,860 Well, at least you know I could never cheat on you. 445 00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:58,201 I'm not slick enough. 446 00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,413 I hope that's not the only reason. 447 00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:01,045 I also hate to shave my legs. 448 00:17:01,725 --> 00:17:03,961 I'm sorry I tried to steal your dad license. 449 00:17:04,028 --> 00:17:05,523 It's okay. The thing is, I had no problem 450 00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:07,669 teaching the other kids, it's just this was different. 451 00:17:07,741 --> 00:17:10,294 And the only thing that's changed is Parkinson's. 452 00:17:10,844 --> 00:17:15,666 Yeah, would it make you feel better if I told you that nothing had changed? 453 00:17:17,212 --> 00:17:19,634 What do you mean? I taught Ian and Eve too. 454 00:17:20,188 --> 00:17:21,846 No, you didn't! 455 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:22,931 Mike, come on, think about it. 456 00:17:23,005 --> 00:17:24,281 You and Ian tried for two weeks, 457 00:17:24,348 --> 00:17:26,137 and then you go away to Poughkeepsie for the afternoon. 458 00:17:26,204 --> 00:17:27,993 You come back, and suddenly he's got it? 459 00:17:28,636 --> 00:17:30,163 But Eve... Taught her while you were napping. 460 00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:31,349 Napping? Yeah. 461 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:32,468 Well, that's fast. 462 00:17:32,541 --> 00:17:36,664 Mike, the truth is, you are just a terrible teacher. 463 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,843 You always have been. Well, that's really great news. 464 00:17:38,909 --> 00:17:39,988 Because when it comes to Parkinson's, 465 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,035 I can't control that. But teaching? 466 00:17:42,109 --> 00:17:43,385 Who cares about teaching? 467 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,143 Teaching is... 468 00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:47,321 What heroes do. Hmm. 469 00:17:47,388 --> 00:17:49,723 Well, I better go talk to him. Talk, not teach. 470 00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:53,845 Bup, almost forgot the pixie dust. 471 00:17:53,917 --> 00:17:55,029 We're still doing that at the end, right? 472 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,987 Duh. Yeah. 473 00:17:59,516 --> 00:18:01,556 Well, good luck out there. 474 00:18:02,044 --> 00:18:04,019 Your dance partner has some moves. 475 00:18:04,637 --> 00:18:06,492 Being dry helps. 476 00:18:06,557 --> 00:18:07,734 And he's kinda cute. 477 00:18:09,085 --> 00:18:11,540 Which I did not mean to say. 478 00:18:12,573 --> 00:18:14,361 Oh, if I could turn back time. 479 00:18:14,749 --> 00:18:16,276 And that was a song. 480 00:18:16,349 --> 00:18:18,836 Well, yeah... 481 00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:21,970 Up next, Ian and Leigh. 482 00:18:22,044 --> 00:18:24,499 I was so focused on finding romance, 483 00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:27,834 I didn't notice Ian, had found it instead. 484 00:18:29,245 --> 00:18:30,227 At least I think he did. 485 00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:31,894 She was a little all over the place. 486 00:18:32,956 --> 00:18:35,225 Anyway, I had to give them their moment. 487 00:18:36,636 --> 00:18:38,294 Ahhh! My ankle! 488 00:18:38,364 --> 00:18:40,306 Oh, my damn sexy, slender ankle. 489 00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:41,624 Aunt Leigh, are you okay? 490 00:18:41,692 --> 00:18:43,699 Oh, you're gonna have to dance with someone else. 491 00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:45,714 Anyone, but probably Deborah. 492 00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:50,390 Me? 493 00:18:53,789 --> 00:18:55,763 I brought you a Batman bandaid. 494 00:18:56,412 --> 00:18:58,300 You just drew wings on a Hello Kitty. 495 00:18:58,364 --> 00:18:59,706 Best I could do last minute. 496 00:19:00,925 --> 00:19:02,747 So you really don't want to ride bikes anymore, huh? 497 00:19:03,516 --> 00:19:05,523 I don't want to fall again. 498 00:19:05,788 --> 00:19:06,803 It was scary. 499 00:19:07,324 --> 00:19:08,502 Yeah. 500 00:19:09,405 --> 00:19:11,674 I may be a terrible teacher, 501 00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:13,850 but I do know something about being scared. 502 00:19:18,205 --> 00:19:20,060 It's easy to try and steer a lesson 503 00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,685 toward how you think it should be taught... 504 00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:23,960 And that's what's happening in the world of sports. 505 00:19:25,725 --> 00:19:27,131 And we're clear. 506 00:19:33,053 --> 00:19:34,460 Harris! 507 00:19:34,781 --> 00:19:35,795 Sometimes we take over 508 00:19:35,868 --> 00:19:37,494 because we want to make ourselves look better. 509 00:19:39,484 --> 00:19:41,524 So I got her phone number. 510 00:19:43,613 --> 00:19:46,744 Oh, my God! That's so great! 511 00:19:48,380 --> 00:19:49,874 Your ankle healed up pretty quickly. 512 00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:52,468 Sometimes we take over because we want to help the people we love. 513 00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:54,929 Thanks, Aunt Leigh. I'm so proud of you. 514 00:19:58,140 --> 00:19:59,896 But the most important thing to remember is... 515 00:19:59,964 --> 00:20:01,208 Yeah, stay on the balls of your feet 516 00:20:01,276 --> 00:20:02,770 - and remember to look forward. - Mike! 517 00:20:02,844 --> 00:20:04,568 All right, totally hands-off. You're on your own, pal. 518 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,163 Did you really have to bring your whole family? 519 00:20:06,236 --> 00:20:08,025 Enough talking, Harris. Just do it! 520 00:20:08,092 --> 00:20:09,718 Let's go! MIKE: Let's go, Harris. 521 00:20:10,972 --> 00:20:12,314 It's a good day to die! 522 00:20:13,181 --> 00:20:14,391 Yeah! Come on! 523 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:15,573 Hey! There you go. 524 00:20:15,645 --> 00:20:16,822 Yeah! Yes, you can! 525 00:20:18,429 --> 00:20:19,508 Oh! 526 00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:21,206 Ooh. Oh, God. 527 00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:23,957 Should've kept the training wheels on.